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This resonated with me to a certain degree because I can still hear my parents voices in my head to this day especially my Father’s voice. I love my parents regardless of the major disagreements we have. I grew with much resentment towards them because I wasn’t really given a choice as a child as it relates to religion. As soon as I could find a way to leave the nest I did and I’ve been running which lead me to where I am now in Canada far away from them but loving them from a distance. It was just about 2 years ago I stood up to my Father because all along I was afraid of him because of how strict & judgmental he is. My Father had no filter he would say whatever. I remember as a child I used to be embarrassed when it was parents day at school, because he would most times make me feel embarrassed & if u know how children are, after the smoke clears u get teased by the children. I always preferred when my Mom would come for parents day because my Mom was more easy going and will listen to reason. My Dad on the other hand was very rough. I remember I disobeyed his instruction in one instance and my Dad had devotion with me where we read the Bible, I will never forget it 1 Samuel 15:22 -behold to obey is better than sacrifice than to harken to the fat of rams (just a summary of the passage) he read it and then said I should read it then he asked me why won’t I obey, I didn’t respond then we prayed and then he proceeded to whip me like a slave I have marks on my back still to this day( having an emotional moment cuz it feels like it was yesterday, tears flowing) this made me really fear my Father. As a man now and was able to do the inner work & on the healing journey, I realized that he was just doing what was done to him cuz he didn’t know better. Our enslaved legacy is deep more than we know and it continues to affects us very deeply. Even though we are doing what we need to do to heal we still have some aspects of the horrific experiences that resurface & we express it in how we treat our children & other adults. We can’t force our beliefs, ideologies or way of thinking on our children because they will either consciously or sub-consciously resent us. At times they will just play along to get along until they can be free of u and often time they will be wayward & do the total opposite of what we desired them to do. I know we want them to pick up the mantle to champion the cause because we know the enemy is out there just waiting to devour them and we want them to be ready. This kind of mindset is no different from what our traumatized Ancestors had while being enslaved, which led them to making certain decisions & behaving in ways that were toxic & unhealthy. I think there are healthy ways we can get involved in rather than imposing and forcing our children and others to get them on the path that is appropriate. The moment we tell children or anyone they can’t do certain things that’s the time they are going to do it, most times because at times they are curious as to why and want to find things out on their own. I’m not saying we shouldn’t have rules or set boundaries but in a gentle and appropriate way, not condescending or forceful, because at times it just turns people off or let them have low key resentment. We have to be able to flex and be balance and not too rigid because we all know what happens when there is no balance or flexibility. So I just thought I share my story where this is concerned and as much as I don’t subscribe to religion or anything that tends to have certain rigid aspects to it, I’m still able to exercise tolerance and come to a realization this is possibly all this individual or people know and they are at times acting on what they’ve experienced. All behavior has significance and there is a cause and effect as to why we are the way we are. If we are to be truly free people we have to be able to be free on all levels not just some. We can’t leave out of one hostile environment that’s so oppressive only to recreate another where we bombard each other with low key judgmental attitudes because we all don’t agree with the methods of how others are trying to free themselves. We can’t absolute everything and confine it to just one common objective and just that alone, because doing so will not make us any different from our enemy who has forced certain ideologies on us and in some circles tell us the one true God is jesus & we can’t be saved by anyone else. We have to be able to be open to other schools of discipline and take what’s constructive and keep it moving. Let’s just be mindful of the energy we are projecting out there especially to our children because they follow us
