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Do We Still Listen to Our Elders?
In the quiet rhythms of pastoral life, where cattle move with the seasons and the land tells its own stories, the Pokot people of Kenya 🇰🇪 and Uganda 🇺🇬 have long preserved a culture rooted in tradition and community.
Among them, elderly women stand as living libraries.
Not just because they have lived long, but because they have seen, remembered, and carried. They are the keepers of stories told by firelight, the quiet advisors in family matters, and the steady voices that guide decisions when it matters most.
You’ll often find them adorned in layers of bright, intricate beads; each color, each pattern, not just decoration, but identity… honor… memory. It’s a reflection of a life lived with purpose, and a position earned over time.
In a world that moves fast and forgets easily, they remain anchored in wisdom, holding the past while guiding the future.
And it makes me wonder…
In our own communities today, do we still listen to our elders the way we should?
And why aren’t we, if we’re not?
Monique, Isaiah and Ohenenana8 Comments-
This is a good topic.. At least for my generation the faith and trust in the elders is almost nonexistent one of the many reasons are the men who’ve held on to power for years.. And I’d add the individualism that American culture produces. For example
“I got mine”
“F them kids” “sounds like a you problem” “I gotta get the bag”
That’s just my perspective on my two decade living in the states. I wonder other perspectives on the continent how’s the relationship with the elders?
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Abibitumi Points
@Reno a distinction between and elder and an older person – thoughts?
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@AgyaKwadwo A very good question to make the conversation simpler. When we’re able to differentiate between an elder and an older person then half the problem(question) is solved(answered).
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@AgyaKwadwo I see.. now that I’m thinking about it. Elder and older person is used the same when it shouldn’t. There’s process and that title is not freely given to anyone at least in kemtwy culture. Anyone have creative ideas on how we can shift that mindset? Movie/animations sub genre being made through our cultural lens what an elder is and isn’t in relation to the youth. we have that already but I’m thinking a stand alone genre specifically for just that. Directors/writers can definitely cook something great.
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I think what we’ve seen through our communities is age without growth. Just as you described in the post, eldership is a title that’s earned, which should be emphasized. What we have is many Olders, who demand the same level of respect. I believe there’s an African proverb that I’ll paraphrase, it says something like if you’ve done a good job then others will tell you. You shouldn’t applaud yourself, your actions will be testimony to the community to applaud you. There’s many of these Olders that I wouldn’t take guidance from because their actions throughout life have beared no fruit to Abibifoɔ, and they continue to uphold and circulate the same poison. But two things can be true, I think the youth is more reluctant in showing respect, or taking good advice. But a lot of that is also reflective of bad guidance from their parents/seniors.
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@Zay Strong points, you’re right👏🏾.
But how do we truly distinguish between an elder and just an older person, without dismissing age altogether? It’s clear now that some older individuals gain status simply because they have money, investing in projects, getting visibility, but character-wise and in terms of real, lasting value, they aren’t necessarily guiding us. Meanwhile, there are others who do so much for the community, even without wealth, but they often get overlooked because money has become the benchmark. So, how do we, as a community, refocus and recognize true elders; those who lead by wisdom, integrity, and sustained impact-rather than just age or financial power?
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I think you’ve answered it brother, the world knows as well as we abibifoɔ who has the strongest influence. We are and have always been the blueprint and set the trends. We are just focusing that ability in the wrong directions. We have good morals & values innately, but are upholding them in false ideologies. Like you said, when we see these “elders/pillars” of our community that have money, resources or are in positions of power, but don’t use those tools to help us – then that is when we point the finger and hold them accountable rather than uplift and idolize them. That pastor in church that talks all day while reaping all of our resources needs to be dismantled. The celebrities i.e. artists, athletes, entertainers that take all of our time, energy, and resources but can’t even speak on black issues, let alone give back to our progress should be dismantled. To your question of how we get there to hold them accountable and change it starts with decolonizing our minds and deconstructing eurasion psychology. Instead of disciplining our youth into behaving more like our enemies, we need to discipline them into behaving like an African.
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@Zay I hear you, and I agree – especially on us being the blueprint but just misdirecting it.
I think the key is balance… it’s not only about calling out those misusing influence, but also paying more attention to and uplifting those quietly doing the right thing, even without money or status.
Because if we don’t redefine what we value, we’ll keep replacing one wrong example with another.
And with the youth too… if we say “be African,” we have to live it and show it clearly, not just say it.
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